it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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