Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
