Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
