I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
