And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I supernannyed him into submission
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
