They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
