Betty ford says i'm here all night
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
