Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There's always time for handjobs
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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