Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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