I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
