Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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