I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
