Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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