I'm really into asian looking animals
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
