he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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