My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
