i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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