i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
