I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
