I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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