Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
