So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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