VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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