i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I love having hate sex.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
