it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
