great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
