So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
