This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
