Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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