I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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