they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
