I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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