wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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