i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
