ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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