I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
