I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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