i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
