Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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