Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
