Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
