been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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