some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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