it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
