marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
