come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
