11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
