dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
send nudes
from the living room?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
