im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
