11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
