butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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