guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Two words: blizzard sex
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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